Just for Fun

I am still catching up and clearing out a ton of emails. Like everyone else, I get more spam than real emails but it does take some sorting. The emails that really upset me are the ones that look like I sent them. It is just out and out fraud that someone can use my name and address to send out their junk.

Oh well

Wanted to pass this cute little thing on to you. I got it from my daughter.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

I'm a little late in sending out a holiday letter, just wanting to thank
all of you who sent me emails last year.

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat manure in the
glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every
envelope that needs sealing.

I now scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny
Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

In fact all my money is gone but that will change once I receive the
$15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
participating in their special e-mail program

Or, I'll receive it from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants to
split $7 million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a
customer who died intestate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking
out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I
forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can
remove toilet stains.

I no longer buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car
so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

And I don't go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
number and I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,
Singapore and Uzbekistan

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown
African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when
it bites my bum.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the $5.00 I found
dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex
molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70
minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00pm
this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back,
causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it
actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's
ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

By the way....a South American scientist after a lengthy study has
discovered that people with low IQ's who have infrequent sexual activity
always read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.

A lot of nonsense goes around in emails, but there is that occasional gem of truth. Please do wash off the tops of your cans before opening them. If you don't believe in the rat poo just think about the dust (made up of dust mites, and human skin) that collects on the cans.

And, although we should all be careful and aware of our surroundings in this day and age, I personally would pick up the $5 bill.

Thanks to all of you who expressed sympathy for my nail-less toes.

until next time - smile
Sharon
Answers For Your Health